Joulzy's Page

Blast from the Past

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:04:41 GMT

Hmm well someone mentioned LiveJournal to me a few moments ago and it reminded me that i had one. Apparently i last updated 47 weeks ago... so that'd be almost a year... tut tut naughty me...!

Anywho to be honest not much has changed in the past year... I still work at the same place and I'm still with my gorgeous Craigy :)

Dunno if there is anyone still about on here who is active... if so drop me a message! It'd be nice to catch up !!

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 15:39:57 GMT

WOAH

two years since i last logged into LJ let alone posted.... thats aaaaaaages! :O

hmm stolen from amy...

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 19:53:59 GMT

Aesthete

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

thats so me!!! weird...!!

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 12:55:08 GMT

its 6 months today... :) i hope i get to talk to him... i didnt really get to chat much yesterday

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 20:12:57 GMT

I am worth $71,029,299.50 for one night of wild lovin'! How much are you worth?
Get my worth

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 21:00:04 GMT

hmm.. id agree with this:

Your dark side is centered around Fear. There is
too many feelings are burning inside your chest
making your heart beats so hard, you feel fear
crawling under your skin, running with your
blood, possesing your soul. All you want is a
warm shoulder to lean on, a quite voice tells
you everything is going to be ok, so you
finally feel secure, safe and loved like you
always wanted to be. You will find what you
want when your feelings start to see the light.

What is the center of your dark core? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla

found in another journal...

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 20:52:34 GMT

The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005

During the outage I regained vision in my right eye.

What did you do?

Brought to you by geek-foo

-sighs-

Sun, 16 Jan 2005 13:25:06 GMT

im not sure whats wrong right now, maybes its just my period affecting my feelings or maybe its something more. but i feel.... i feel empty, i get so high with emotion either happy, where i cant stop bouncing about and giggling away, to being hysterical with tears and in between there is no happy medium i just fee as though im not really here

the ideas of harming myself have been strong recently, but thats all they are ideas, they arent urges or anything, i know i dont need to do it, and that im not going to, but still i keep getting these weird ideas and just toying with the idea of how they'd work out and what would happen

recently its been the whole i wonder who'd actually care if i died thing, been wishing i could just die for a week or something and then come back just like normal and see who'd noticed, who'd cared sorta thing, find out who really is my friend and who really loves me, stupid i know but still

-sighs- ive no idea why im writing this or what im trying to say really just wanted something to do and to keep me occupied, the loneliness is getting to me again, its always worse at the weekend, i like the weekends because i dont have to go to college or anything but then again i hate them because of the lonely feeling, the feeling of wanting to go somewhere, wanting to go out but knowing there is nowhere to go... i think thats the worst thing, knowing your all alone however much people claim your not, you are

another thing thats been going through my head recently is this scenario...

going into college with freshly cut arms and just walking into the class room and sitting there, forcing them all to see what ive done, how i feel inside, i would NEVER do that but still its been swirling around in my mind, jsut all this stupid fantasies, well they arent even that really, i mean im not really depressed and i dont want/need/etc to cut and ive no intentions of doing so but like i said the idea still sort of lingers there, i bet ive made no sense here... -sighs- sorry, why am i apologizing now? ARGH

i'm going to shut up as im probably not making any sense...

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 20:20:02 GMT

i miss you... i miss you so so much... i want to make everything better and stop you hurting i want to be with you, to live with you, to never have to leave you...

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 17:24:28 GMT

Your LJ Prison by redfrog021
Username
Favorite Deadly Sin
You are convicted of	Holding a Children's Site Hostage for Server Space, you jerk!
And sentenced to	Life with Parole
Warden	nothing_inside
Abusive redneck guard	manicstricken
Easy to bribe guard	tashy
Cellmate	aidan257
Wants to make you their bitch	rage06
Drops soap in the shower on purpose	notalive
Works in the laundry and smells people's undies	blu_occhio
Comes to see you for 'conjugal visits'	br0ken_dream5

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 19:51:27 GMT

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/M/mechangel/1066004559_esartistic.jpg" border="0" alt="Artistic">
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.

What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 18:47:44 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
joulz goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as faerie.
aidan257 tricks you! You get a broken balloon.
blu_occhio tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
br0ken_dream5 tricks you! You get an eraser.
despairswindow gives you 18 red-orange strawberry-flavoured gummies.
manicstricken tricks you! You lose 13 pieces of candy!
notalive tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
nothing_inside gives you 13 yellow apple-flavoured gummy bears.
tashy gives you 1 light orange pineapple-flavoured gummy fruits.
joulz ends up with 19 pieces of candy, a broken balloon, a toothbrush, an eraser, and a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 12:36:46 GMT

its been a long time since i posted anything on here... or in fact on either journal type thingy ive got... the past month my computer monitor has been broken so ive not been able to get online, missed having people to talk to, but i guess in other ways its done me some good not being online every single evening and all day sundays, but still its hard being alone, i know that im never truly alone, ive family etc but its not the same, i miss having friends, proper friends that actually care about me and want to talk to me and be around me, it seems right now that those sort of friends are very limited indeed. one thing i have found out from not being able to get online is how some of the people i believed to of cared about me greatly and been 'true friends' arent, not really, they didnt care i was missing or worry about me or anything, things ive been doing about them ever since ive not been able to get online, i guess its made me realize i shouldnt worry about everyone as much as i do, because although im giving lots im not really getting anything back from those im giving out to, previously i didnt mind, or i simply didnt notice this was happening, but after this month i dunno things seem kinda different now...

anywways... whats happened in the life of me since i've last been around...

well ive started at college doing the CACHE diploma in childcare and education, its going okay i guess, ive a placement in a primary school, in the reception class, i work there every monday and tuesday from 8.15am till 3.30pm, and im enjoying that part, the college bit is okay, the amount of people and stuff worries me quite a bit, and the college is yet to pay attention and listen to me trying to tell them i've a history of self harm [something which i was told i would need to advise them on before i started the course but the idiots never give me a chance] so now im wary of telling them at all incase it messes up my course, ive no intention of hiding the scarring on my arms, i wouldnt be myself if i did, but netherless it still worries me a little that as of yet its not been officially notified... i realize that in later life, if i get this diploma and finish my teacher training my history will make it harder for me to find a job, after all whose going to want to employ a teacher whose covered in scars? it makes me worry about whether being open about my past and the things i used to [and occasionally still] do is a good thing after all, im not ashamed or embarrassed or anything by my scars, they are just as much a part of me as the limbs they are on but im not sure society will see it as that, i worry about embarrassing other people, or making other people feel ashamed of me, i dont want people to be ashamed of me or who i am, but i know that in my life i will encounter that, hmm to be honest im not really sure where im going with this, im just sorta letting all the thoughts from inside my head flow out in a erratic kinda way and just typing them as i think them, its been a long long time since i just did that, normally i just type a few well planned lines and thats that...

what else to talk about while im here... well im with Craig, my beautiful little boy, he makes me feel like im the most beautiful person in the world, and whenever i see him i still get butterflies in my stomach and goosebumps all over my skin, i guess that shows its real love, its hard being away from him for long periods of time, but i know i'll get through it, we both will together, so many people doubt us because of the 400miles distance, but we're making it work, and im so happy about it, he's back down on friday [1st October] i cant wait to see him again, we are going to somewhere in Kingston on the Saturday to see Ginger from The Wildhearts play... and then staying overnight at the travelodge place together, it'll be nice just being alone, i know i've stayed over his plenty of times and vice versa and we share a bed every time, but i dunno it'll just be 100% us together, no annoying little brother coming in and out of my room, or his mom calling up the stairs, just me and him together, just how i want it to be :)

anyways... i guess i'll buzz off now... i think i've gibbered on enough for now... take care all X x X

Sat, 10 Jul 2004 16:17:55 GMT

joulzy is bored.... so so bored....

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 19:08:34 GMT

div align="center">

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	47%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	33%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Eight Nephews and One Niece

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 20:28:30 GMT

my eldest sister had her baby at 5am on saturday morning :)

and it was a girl!!

AT LAST!! im finally no longer the baby girl of the family hehehe

She called it Emelie... so now there is

My brother David has - Sam and Terry [step-sons] and Thomas

My eldest sister Elaine has - Joshua, Mitchell and Emelie

My other sister Sue has - Michael, Lewis and James

so anyways... yay for a girl :D

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 20:26:03 GMT

You have a Calm Soul! Being calm and cool is what
you do best. You collected thoughts and always
positive attitude make you very bright and
logical. When theres a problem, you know how to
approach it, and solve it. Your friends rely on
you on their problems, and your shoulder for
their crying. You are peaceful, and enjoy
nature and freedom. You rarely get angry and
hardly scream, which makes you good with kids.
You seem to be in tune with the world and if
anything goes wrong, you always bounce back.

What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 27 May 2004 19:43:43 GMT

why am i so fucking insecure... why cant i just be normal... why cant things just be normal

yay care bears

Thu, 06 May 2004 22:12:32 GMT

See what Care Bear you are.

ive seen this now in sooo many peoples journals, so i thought i'd be a sheep and do it too

Mon, 05 Apr 2004 21:25:09 GMT

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
'on, enabling you to return quickly and easily to a recent network game. To clear the'

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
-giggles- nothing...

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
eastenders i think

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:
11.30pm

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11.22pm

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
not much

7: When did you last step outside?
saturday

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
instant messsages

9: What are you wearing?
purple velvet trousies, lilac top, black bra and knickers, socks

10: Did you dream last night?
dont know

11: When did you last laugh?
few minutes ago

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
paint thats about it

13: Seen anything weird lately?
nope

14: What do you think of this quiz?
it's okies

15: What is the last film you saw?
the matrix revolutions

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
a house

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
i once jumped out of a first floor window and bit a hole through my lip

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
ive no idea

19: Do you like to dance?
Nah

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
nutcase

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
thats a secret

21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
jake

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
maybe

23: Will you pass on this survey?
n/a

stolen from bekie and/or oceanicundertow journals

Sun, 04 Apr 2004 12:31:37 GMT

Today was really great.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got a Good Charlotte CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world that my girlfriend Amy is the bomb! She made pizza last night, and even though I burnt my lips on the cheese, it was awesome!!!

I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I don't know how to work it. Can you help me?

I want to say thanks to simon and Abbey and Dave and the other Simon for helping me on Saturday. You guys are the best. By the way, if you happen to find my wallet, keys or underwear, could you SMS me? Adrian has my number.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you next week's lottery numbers.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

Created with the Gregors's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 20:19:28 GMT

-sighs-

im bored

bored

bored

bored...

eleanor just suddenly went nasty on me :( why am i such a crappy person that i can make people turn on me that fast, so many people seem to do that...so it must be me thats doing something wrong not them...but how am i, i dont know what ive done wrong i dont understand things anymore its all so confusing.

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 20:15:56 GMT

ive just been reminded that ive got this by the lovely sammi...she linked me to her journal, i knew there was a use to having this thing, it means i can comment as joulz rather than anon or whatever...i likies being able to be me, and not just some unknown blob

lovely....

Sun, 15 Feb 2004 20:28:18 GMT

I am the Which smiley are you?

lucky me eh?! lol

blurty

Sun, 04 Jan 2004 13:01:26 GMT

just in case anyone ever accidently finds this i have no plans of using it to write things, ive had a journal on blurty for a long time, thus ive no use for this journal, i just need an account in order to view a few friends journals if i want to......but now im not even sure if i do....ARGH!